MY STORY – THE STRUGGLE TO MAKE A CHANGE

December 31, 2011 Leave a comment

(UPDATES ARE TOWARDS THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST)

Hello all! My name is Bradley Colson, I’m 42 years of age, and I’m currently a student at K-State (Salina) in their “Digital Media” course. I was attending the Art Institute of Pittsburgh’s online division in their “Graphics and Web Design” program prior to transferring to K-State. It’s just a part of my story that due to certain disabilities I became unable to continue performing my usual line of work, which was working as a chain hand on oil well drilling rigs, and which I had done for various companies over the years ever since I was 18 years old.

Rather than simply trying to live off the meager monthly fixed income Disability or SSI might provide, I thought it would be best if I tried to learn something new, something where I could possibly work for myself or on a contract basis, something I both CAN do and WANT TO do. So here I am, living in Salina, KS… attending college… I certainly don’t have a comfortable life… I just barely get by on what amounts to maybe 500 or so dollars a month and some assistance from family. It’s a constant struggle, but, to me, it’s really a pretty good life in that it’s a life that’s going somewhere regardless of my current difficulties. OR AT LEAST I HOPE SO.

I can’t claim to have been a particularly good or moral person all throughout my entire life, my life sort of went in the other direction. Having grown up in a very small town, population maybe 300, it was somewhat of the norm that most of us began drinking somewhat heavily at a pretty young age. It just seemed like the thing to do when there was really little else to be done. That lead to, for me personally anyway, a long string of DUIs and violations for driving on a suspended license and the fists full of various tickets that came along with all those. Needless to say those all brought about the spending of a fairly considerable amount of time in and out of county jails and such along the way, and that’s just the direction in which my life progressed. I’ll skip all the sordid details, but you can pretty well imagine where that sort of life leads and in 2002 I was incarcerated on drug related charges for a period of 6 1/2 years. It was only then I began to really realize the changes that MUST be made in my life.

Having had a good long time to take everything under consideration I came to the conclusion that, under the totality of all circumstances, the only way I was ever going to be able to fix my life was to start back at the beginning where I’d screwed it all up… back in school… I’d go back to college. I mean, that’s when you’re making all those decisions as to who and what you want to be. I had various forms of assistance lined up (which is no easy task, in itself) before I was even released because I knew I would be starting out with absolutely nothing at all. I had tried completing college courses 3 times in the past and always ended up having to drop out for financial reasons, so I knew what a rough road lie ahead, but I didn’t really expect what became my primary obstacle… THE STATE OF KANSAS. And this is the part of the story I really want people to know.

In today’s world, when incarcerated for an offense, you don’t get just one sentence… you get a full period of incarceration as well as an additional term of post release supervision which is considered parole. So of course, I had a parole officer to dictate every detail of what I could and could not do. When I first saw my parole officer and told him about my wonderful plan he had said, “No, what you really need to do is go get you some dish washing job or something like that.” My PO would not allow me the time necessary to make all the preparations for attending college. My plan was basically destroyed for the moment but I wasn’t giving up there. Since I wasn’t going to be allowed to attend college where I was currently under supervision. I tried to make a move.

Having no resources for moving anywhere I came up with the idea that I could go to a chemical dependency treatment and reintegration program and after doing some looking around I chose PARALLAX INC which was then (but has since closed down due to highly unethical and illegal practices) located in Wichita, KS. New town with plenty of educational and other resources and a different PO which might actually let me go to college and get my life together. Sounded like a good idea and I didn’t see any other way, so, that’s where I went. No one could have foreseen what happened next.

At Parallax I was assigned this counselor, Donita Trukken, whom I immediately took a dislike to for her UNPROFESSIONAL PRACTICES in generalizing everyone into a single stereotypical class. She responded to my dislike for her by objecting to some of the medications I had been prescribed due to depression and depression related conditions. Having absolutely no medical background and being entirely unfamiliar with my medical history or why I was even on the medications I was on, she chose to instigate the alteration and eventual discontinuation of the medications which I had been on for quite some time. To do this she had to employ the assistance of Quack psychologist R. LANCE PARKER who simply backed anything she had to say regardless of the truth and in the end, yes, my medications were altered which caused me to become entirely listless and unable carry on day to day activities. After some time of this I had informed Donita’s assistant that if they did not do something to correct the problem… I would sue Parallax and their doctors. Shortly thereafter Donita Trukken, backed by other officials there called my PO Dawn Shepler (whom I had never even met since coming there) and produced this fictitious report stating I had been abusing my medications (which in actuality were dispensed to me at Parallax so I obviously could not have been abusing them) and that I was a highly unstable, potentially violent, paranoid schizophrenic who had been disruptive at their Christmas Gift Wrapping Event (which I never even attended), among other things, so I needed to be removed.

Dawn Shepler (again, who I had never even met) sent 6 police officers dressed in protective gear to arrest me and transport me to the Wichita Jail on that day, Christmas Eve, 2009. Having never even met me her recommendation was that I “be returned to prison so that a complete psychological assessment be completed so that I may begin a medication treatment to carry on while in the community.” Funny, but that’s exactly what had already been accomplished prior to coming to Parallax. Anyway… her recommendation was followed and regardless of the fact I was minimum custody I was sent to the Maximum Security Prison at Hutchinson, KS. The standard amount of time one generally does on these types of violations is 90 days, however, since I refused to sign the papers admitting everything they claim is true I ended up doing over 9 months during which time I was ultimately deprived of any medications at all for my depression and related symptoms. But here’s the “kicker…”

While incarcerated I was forced to bunk down on the concrete floor of a cell due to not being physically able to climb up into an upper bunk due to disabilities relating to a previous back injury. When I began complaining and preparing an action for violations of Civil Rights as well as the Americans with Disabilities Act the administration, led by Warden Sam Cline, took an intense dislike to me. When self-proclaimed gang member CLEVE WOOLEY #79066 (who in actuality is a child molester) began trying to extort me, ultimately threatening to “get his boys together and kill me in the showers” Sam Cline (who previously attended Seminary school and now issues administrative orders allowing food to be used as punishment for inmates) and his administration refused to do anything about it. Being an older, disabled person… naturally, there’s no way I could fend off such an attack. I see now how it obviously wasn’t very clear thinking but all I could think to do was to start carrying a knife and make it well known to other inmates that I had it in hopes that would keep these others from being so eager to attack me. That didn’t work out so well.

When these others felt they could no longer easily get at me, instead, this wanna be gangster (whom none of his gangster buddies realized was actually a child molester) and his group began writing anonymous request forms, informing that I had the knife. Where Sam Cline and his administration would refuse to do anything about a situation where several gang related youths were attempting to extort and plotting to kill an older, disabled person… they were all over the situation where the older, disabled person preparing Civil Rights and ADA actions against them has to carry a knife to keep from being killed. There way of dealing with such a situation? To file criminal charges against me for “Introducing Contraband into a Correctional Facility.”

Allegedly, according to Kansas law, a person is to be free from prosecution for acts committed in the preservation of one’s own life (See KSA 21-3219), but that defense has been codified pretty much into non-existence here in Kansas. You have to wait until you are actually in the process of being killed before you’re excused for taking any forceful measures, real or implied, due to highly technical, legal interpretations of words like IMMINENT and REASONABLE used in the afore statute. And quite frankly, if you’re an inmate in Hutchinson Correctional Facility who is not well liked by the administration all that administration has to do is to call up their henchman, STEVEN MAXWELL, Assistant Reno County Attorney, and you’re goose is pretty much cooked regardless of any exculpatory or mitigating circumstances.

However… I was able to make bond regardless of the intentional misrepresentations Steven Maxwell made in open court to get my bond increased. I came to Salina, KS and starting out in a homeless shelter I’ve finally been able to put my little plan together. Although charges are still pending in Reno County District Court, I now live in a perfectly normal home in a good neighborhood here in Salina, KS and am a “Digital Media” student at K-State here… I live a perfectly normal life which would finally seem to be headed in a  productive, and positive direction. I’m just hoping I will be allowed to continue. I have a court date in the Reno County District Court before Judge Timothy J. Chambers on December 15-th so we shall see.

It was suggested to me by Attorneys with the Reno County Public Defender’s Office that I should just plead guilty to the charges because given the overall circumstances and the fact that I’ve made the changes in my life that I have… it would be most likely (a 98% chance, I was told) that I could get a non-prison sentence. So I’m thinking that may just be the best thing to do. It sure would be a shame to have what I’ve battled so hard just to be allowed to do completely destroyed.

Anyway… I think my story is one a lot of people might want to keep in mind, and certainly one that ought to be known. I’m going to keep this blog updated as long as I am able and try to include some information which may be of use to others in similar or just difficult circumstances. Try to provide information about the resources I’ve used so maybe some out there who may want to (or need to) “START OVER” might find their way a little easier than I have. So keep checking back.

Incredible as it may seem, this is just an abbreviated version of everything, and I’ll be editing it to try to clear up some portions which might be a little vague, try to include links to some documents and such relating to these experiences, but for now… I just wanted my story out there for others to know. And if you’re someone out there procrastinating on making the changes you need to due to whatever difficulties, I just want  to say to you, no matter how hard it may be, no matter what obstacles stand in your way… don’t put off making the changes in your life that you need to. More often than not for many… life is NOT fair and anything worth doing IS difficult. But I haven’t let the things I’ve mentioned in my story stop me, so whatever the circumstances you happen to be facing… don’t let those things stop you from making a better life for yourself.

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If anyone might want to contact me for any reason you can email me at: <bradley.colson@yahoo.com>

You may also write to the address <ME>, c/o V. Morrison, 1821 VanBuren, Great Bend, KS 67530

If you wish you can follow me on Twitter at: @BradleyC4U - I tweet whatever’s of interest at the moment.

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UPDATE (01-04-12):

Well… Today am officially a “normal” citizen once again… I am officially released from post release supervision with all rights restored, including but not limited to, the right to vote, the right to hold public ofice, and the right to serve on a jury… so the paper says anyway; As of the 8-th that is, I am officially released from being property of the state. I can’t believe I have the right to vote again, not that I ever did in the 1-st place, but, this year WILL be the first time. Honestly, I never cared to vote in any presidential elections before because there simply wasn’t anybody out there who would, or could make a difference; But this year… I’m for Ron Paul ALL THE WAY! He’s the one I believe can make the changes that need be made in this country… maybe with a man like him in office eventually this will be a country where the little people can have a better chance at getting ahead in life instead of being stomped on every time they start to come up a little bit.

I’m sure all the injustices out in the world and in US society couldn’t possibly be fixed even if Paul were given two terms to do it in, but, I believe he can bring about enough change to cause a paradigm shift in the way things operate, and in turn, in the way we all operate. As for my socioeconomic class I’m pretty sure we’ve all been beat down and conditioned to prepare for, and almost always expect the worst, which tends to make for an extremely selfish population. I mean, with the way pretty much everything has progressed one can really only look out for one’s self and their own, or at least try to, if they want to keep their head above water. For many of us, especially those out there all on their own with little or no support… that can often lead to somewhat desperate measures just to get by; Constantly having to bend the rules or ones morals or adjust one’s boundaries and such, just  a little more and a little more and a little more until everything becomes unclear and you don’t really know exactly where you stand.

Maybe I’m relating more to my own personal situation, but, it seems I’ve read somewhere, “In a society where the rules are not clearly defined… the right rules become wrong and the wrong rules become right… and then what you have is a criminal.” Well… maybe not always a criminal by the literal definition of the word, but surely you can see the underling principal… things just aren’t clear in today’s world… the lines are all blurred; And we need an entirely new kind of leadership that can give us an entirely new outlook.

I guess I kind of got off on a rant there. All I really meant to say is I’m completely thrilled with my new status as a “normal” (or maybe “average” is a better word) citizen and for what’s really the first time ever… I think I’m going to start taking advantage of that status. I’m going to take advantage of being a part of normal society because for the first time ever… it means something to me. I sure hope things go well for me in my court situation I’m in here because right now I’m pretty hopeful about EVERYTHING… EVERYWHERE.

As for Ron Paul… check out these videos, and yes… VOTE RON PAUL! ! !

On a more comical note… here’s one I really loved noting “Draft Ron Paul,” I don’t know who made this thing, but I love it.

UPDATE (12-25-11):

I haven’t got around to updating this, but obviously, I survived my last court date (at least for the time being). To keep this as short as possible, well, I just entered a plea of “No Contest” on December 15-th and my sentencing hearing is on February 3-rd, 2012 when the judge will decide if I deserve to go back to prison for having to take measures to preserve my own life or whether I can be placed on some form of probation allowing for me to continue with college and the life I’ve built here.

As for that 98% chance of getting a departure to a non-prison sentence, well, I have new counsel now who tells me he wouldn’t count on it. The entire situation seems entirely ridiculous to me. Sure, I could go serve 2 or 3 years, but what purpose would that serve… I can understand where if a crime has been comitted there has to be some form of punishment, but they say prison is to be reserves for only the most serious offenders, so is someone forced to take measures to see they are not killed really one of those most serious offenders? I guess we’ll find out February 3-rd. Guess if things go badly I can always look on the bright side… I’m needing some pretty substantial dental work, a knee replacement, and possibly back surgery so it could really save me some dough… would give me plenty of time for working on my book as well. I suppose ALL won’t be bad whichever way things go.

I suppose that’s all for now… I just wanted to get an update in here to keep those out there watching aware of what’s going on with this. I’ve added a couple pages and some more links since beginning this, one page relates to the resources I’ve used to get back into college which I hope can assist some out there which might wish to do the same. Another is on addiction so if you’re someone who’s been through that revolving door of “so called” treatment maybe you can find something of use to you there. And as always… good luck in your struggles, whatever they may be.

UPDATE (2-23-12):

As usual… I’m late in placing any updates in my little story in here. My situation has kind of drug out a little longer than expected. I had a court date a couple of weeks ago which I expected to bring an end to my legal matters one way or the other. I was in court for sentencing on the matters I’ve related in my story here. As I’ve already related, the prosecution would like to place me back in prison for having to defend my own life and we (my lawyer and I, that is) are requesting a departure to a non-prison sentence considering the circumstances under which the offense took place and the fact I’ve really got my whole life together out here since being allowed to go back to college.

At my last hearing there was the most amazing turn of events, the judge, Timothy Chambers, wanted to get the opinion of the Warden Sam Cline (mentioned above) on what he thinks about me since the crime is supposedly against the prison. I really don’t understand seeing as how it’s already pretty well known within this whole situation what the warden thinks of me and vice versa. Having filed over 42 grievances against Mr. Cline and his administration as well as a civil rights complaint and an action for violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act for Sam Cline and his administration’s refusal to provide medical care and accommodations for my lower back condition and forcing me to bunk down on a concrete floor… it should be pretty obvious what his opinion of me is going to be. Sam Cline and his administration have done everything possible already to see that their records paint me as an absolute screw up who has made no attempt at all of ever changing his ways. This certainly conflicts with what I’ve done once actually given the chance to make a change, but, OK… nothing I can do about it. It’s not too terribly difficult for any reasonably prudent person to see what’s going on here.

So anyway… I have court tomorrow and we’ll see what happens. Several members of my family as well as my room mate, the person I rent a room from, that is, as well as at least one student from my class have all written letters on my behalf testifying to the facts of the changes I’ve made in my life and everything I’ve been trying to do since coming to Salina. If all that doesn’t prove my point then I guess there’s nothing that will and I’ll just go kick back in prison for however long. Like I said before… it will give me a chance to work on my book regarding my experiences with the Kansas Department of Corrections. It would be unfortunate to destroy my prospects for earning a degree and getting my little Design business off the ground and all that, but, either way it goes, at least it will be over and I won’t have to worry about it anymore. I’ve done the very best I can do throughout this entire mess… so… whatever.

If you don’t hear from me again here shortly… you know what happened. And either way it goes, let this story serve as an example for others, for whatever it’s worth. There are many truths to be realized and maybe lessons to be learned from all that has happened with me here, so, I hope these can all help someone out in some way. Goodbye for now.   -Bradley Colson

UPDATE (2-24-12):

I’M STILL HERE! In a rather amazing turn of events it seems I will be able to continue on with my life, with my education and with whatever the future holds. I’ve been trying to catch up, or at least keep current, on my assignments in class so I’ve been busy with that since returning this afternoon, but, I’ll have the “low down” on everything that happened in court posted in this update in… well… not too terribly long a time. OK… well… I’m tired… It’s been a long, LONG day… going to bed for now. Goodnight.

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ON EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES

December 31, 2011 Leave a comment

Many people don’t see education as overly important; especially those who have already entered into some specific line of work, but how many people out there are actually doing what they really want to do? With pretty much anything worthwhile in today’s world, it’s going to take some education to accomplish it. As for me personally, I thought working in the oil field was something I’d be able to do well into my later years and as it paid pretty well… I’d eventually accumulate enough money to get something of my own going on. Jobs on drilling rigs had never been too difficult to find, unfortunately with the economy taking the turn it has even those jobs have become somewhat difficult to find in the state of Kansas. Then with my lower back condition progressing to a point I simply can’t do the work anymore, well, I’ve learned you never know what may lie around the corner.

I’ve been to college on 3 different occasions previously but always ended up not being able to complete the courses due to financial difficulties. Being middle aged many of the resources available to more college aged students really aren’t available to me. You know, I’ve been around long enough to have pretty well trashed my credit rating, living at home with parents or having parents capable of paying my way aren’t resources available to me at this point. It’s a whole different ball game when pretty much all you have is you so it’s important to find the resources that will allow you to get by throughout the entire time it will take you to complete whatever course you choose to take. If you’re someone well past that “college age” then you may not be aware what resources are still available to you or as familiar with how those resources work as you need to be. Even finding the proper school and the proper program for what you want to do can be a challenge if you’re not familiar with how everything works.

I originally thought taking an online course would be best for me and all the advertisements for online programs sounded great. I figured with student loans and such I could make it through, no problem. However, I had no idea what I was getting into. As I understand it, pretty much all online programs currently cost upwards of $450 per credit hour and quite frankly, generally don’t have that high of a completion rate. I didn’t know when I started at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, but, their completion rate was under 50%. The thing with Federal Student aid, which I was totally unaware of, is that the lower the completion rate of the college you attend… the less funding you will get. Ontop of that, if you’re attending a college with a low completion rate… you’re probably not going to be able to find any other assistance programs that will help fund you. Another point that might be worth mentioning… often times a school will tell you, “Oh no problem… you’re short on funding you can just go part time.” Well, what they fail to tell you is that if, say you’re program originally costs 40 thousand dollars… attending part time is going to cost you better than 60 thousand for that same 40 thousand dollar program. That’s not even considering interest and all that sort of thing, I’m just talking about the base cost for the program itself. And that’s not to mention all the hidden fees like “access fees” and all that sort of thing. So… it’s very, VERY important you choose the right school and the right program in the first place.

It was actually “Voch Rehab” (another resource I’ll mention next) which referred me to an excellent resource for finding the proper program for what I wanted to do. This was the TRIO PROGRAM of the EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITY CENTER. Those links will take you to the home pages for those places which will give you more information on everything they do, but, all you really need to do is go to your local job service center and ask about it. You can set up an appointment with one of their people who can tell you pretty much anything you need to know regarding education. They can direct you as to where you might find other resources, help you find a college and program that’s the best fit for you and what you want to do, assist you with filling out the necessary paperwork… they’re great really. Pretty much anything you need to know or anything you need to do to get everything figured out and set up, they can help you with, so if you’re looking to get back into college, that’s a pretty good place to start.

Now VOCATIONAL REHABILITATION SERVICES could likely be your best bet at assistance in helping to fund you in going back to college. You can generally get in touch with Voch Rehab through your local SRS office. There are a number of factors which could qualify you for their assistance. Most of the people I’ve known are under the impression Voch Rehab only assists those with severe physical disabilities, but that’s not always necessarily the case. If you have conditions such as depression or addiction or things of that nature those also may qualify you for their assistance. They will generally pay for at least books and tuition as well as some other extras, for instance, they pay for my bus passes so I can get around town and such. What they may do kind of depends somewhat on exactly what your needs are.

Personally, I know of people who don’t appear to have any sort of disability at all who have qualified for Voch Rehab, but I’m really no expert on what of all they do. I just think no matter what your circumstance, they’re worth checking into. I know for some other forms of aid there are classifications such as that of a “Depressed Minority” which could be anything from someone just released from incarceration to certain displaced workers to who knows what, all of which can qualify you for many forms of assistance, so, don’t overlook anything, you’ve got nothing to loose by checking these things out

Another resource which could likely be useful is the WORKFORCE INVESTMENT ACT (Formerly known as the Job Training Partnership Act or JTPA), you can look them up through that link to find out more but it might prove better to just go talk to a WIA representative at your local Job Service Center. Actually I’m not entirely familiar with WIA as I made the mistake of actually enrolling in a course before I had the actual application for their assistance all worked out, but, I know there are a wide range of fairly simple circumstances that can qualify you for the WIA program and they can work in conjunction with other assistance programs as well. To the best of my knowledge WIA can provide financial assistance of up to around $3000 per year… that was last I knew back around October of last year.

SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE USEFUL TO KNOW… when seeking assistance from almost any resource… you might not find them overly helpful at first. Sorry to say, but with a lot of assistance programs, most of these people with these places have went all out to assist people time and time again in the past only to have them get their first student aid checks and hit the road or simply refuse to put the effort required to complete an educational program into it. So don’t be discouraged if you don’t find someone overly helpful in the beginning. It depends a lot on the person really… depends on who you get. I’ve found some representatives to be cheery and outgoing from the start… others behavior may border between sheer laziness to incompetence. Luckily, the people I’ve been involved with this time around have been pretty great; I’m just saying, if that turns out not to be the case for you… DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU.

Anyway… those are just a few of the programs I’ve been involved with. Many think they can simply make a go of it with Pell Grants and Student or Government Loans, but seriously, you want to line up all the assistance you can possibly get because you never know what difficulties may lie ahead. If you can get somewhere to pay your tuition and help with expenses… if you also get grants and/or loans… that’s just more money you’ll have to get by on and pay for the things you’ll be needing throughout whatever course you’re taking. Believe me… YOU’LL NEED IT!

I hope to be updating this with more information on resources and such which might prove useful to those out there wanting to go back to college so keep checking back, but for now… that’s all I’ve got. Good luck to everyone out there.

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If anyone might want to contact me for any reason you can email me at: <bradley.colson@yahoo.com>

You may also write to the address <ME>, c/o V. Morrison, 1821 VanBuren, Great Bend, KS 67530

If you wish you can follow me on Twitter at: @BradleyC4U – I tweet whatever’s of interest at the moment.

Categories: Uncategorized

ON ADDICTION

December 31, 2011 Leave a comment

In addition to my own personal experiences, having done a fairly substantial amount of research on the subject of addiction, the bottom line is that the percentage of those who actually recover from addiction is very, very low. Throughout my 42 years I’d have to say the majority of people I’ve known have been addicted to one substance or another and out of all those people, I’ve only known a handful who ever  succeeded in remaining abstinent form drugs and/or alcohol. Some social and economic classes may fair better than others, some geographical locations certainly provide a better atmosphere for actual recovery; Some statistics say “this” while other statistics say “that,” but regardless of whose stats you believe, it all comes down to the same thing… very few people manage to stay clean and sober. Why is that? As someone who had spent the better part of their lifetime addicted to one substance or another yet now has no longings, desires, or urges whatsoever that motivate me to even consider going back to using… I’m convinced it’s due predominantly to the leading method of treating addiction which is rammed down the addict’s throat every time they turn around… that method… the 12-Step Recovery Program.

Don’t get me wrong… for those it works for, which are obviously an incredibly miniscule number of people, hey, great for them; but what about the other 95% of addicts. I had already been an addict for well over a decade before I was even aware that the 12-Step program was not the only recovery program out there. Just one of the not so well known recovery programs is called RATIONAL RECOVERY which is a “family centered” recovery program emphasizing such points as that “Self-doubt is an example of one’s Addictive Voice.” So you see… if you’re one of those people who were told it’s all your fault because you’re not working their program, or maybe given that crutch to lean on that “Relapse is a part of recovery…” well… that’s just ridiculous in most cases and only sets you up to fail.

There are in fact many others out there in the world but the truth is treatment centers employ the 12 steps because it’s virtually cost free for them to provide compared to other more effective programs and quite frankly… it’s simply what so called “professionals” with agencies like RADAC and DCCCA and such know, it’s what THEY are most comfortable and most familiar with… that doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for you. Many people run or get rammed through the revolving doors of 12-Stepism their entire lives and feel like more and more of a failure with every relapse. There’s really a lot of great stuff you can learn in a 12-Step program but let’s be realistic, there are some serious, SERIOUS defects in the whole scheme and it has this wholly conceited, narcissistic quality that prevents it from evolving and becoming more effective.

Not to be “wholly narcissistic” myself, but consider the approach I’ve taken which has turned my whole life around, particularly so far as addiction is concerned… and if you won’t take it from me watch the first 40 minutes of the documentary MOVING FORWARD above and really listen to some expert opinions on the topic. It doesn’t start out specifically addressing the subject of addiction, takes about 9 minutes to really get going then begins talking about genetics and the difference between “predetermination” and “predisposition” and how environmental and other factors can actually turn genes on or off, BUT, it’ll get around to applying the basic concept to addiction around 17:50 minutes into it and go on into how no substance in and of itself is actually “addictive.” Might sound kind of incredible, but seriously, check it out. But back to my approach, which was NOT AT ALL popular with treatment centers, by the way…

I won’t say that this is the case for absolutely everyone, but, in my experience it would apply to the majority of people I’ve run across. As far as addicts go… Why do people use mind/mood altering substances? The logical and pretty obvious answer would seem to be that they don’t like their state of mind… they don’t like the way they feel. Simply stated… those who have lives that don’t make them feel the way they want to and show no real signs of ever becoming a life that will, naturally seek out something to alter the way they feel. Unfortunately… drugs and alcohol and such only alter the way a person feels and not the life that’s making them feel that way. The solution? FIX YOUR LIFE! Addiction in most cases is simply a symptom of an underlying problem and that underlying problem in most cases is probably the addict’s life. I’ve avoided using the term “happy” because there are so SO many BS theories on happiness out there it kind of makes me sick just thinking about it, but that would be the term most people would use, so…

If you want to think of the way you want to feel as happiness, well, it can be thought of as such, but, for most people the term “happiness” has several preconceived notions attached to it that aren’t necessarily so correct. Generally, to even KNOW what it is that will make one happy with their life can take a great deal of searching and happiness isn’t something that’s achieved at the drop of a hat. When you go trying to become happy, making those changes that you need to in order to become happy and still don’t feel that way… well… that’s pretty natural. The important thing is NOT to let yourself backslide thinking what you’re doing isn’t working, to keep moving forward. It’s all done in baby steps… one after another, until eventually… you’re walking on your own and you don’t need to lean on anything.

So if you’re someone who has struggled with addiction and been stuck in that revolving door and it’s not working out for you… maybe it’s not your fault the whole treatment thing isn’t working. If you’ve subscribed to the belief that alcohol and drugs and such are “Powers Greater Than Yourself” and using that excuse that you’re “Powerless” over your addiction… maybe you need to accept responsibility for your own actions and work on changing your way of thinking. Just take a good, long look at your life… call it a “personal inventory” if you wish… and figure out exactly what it is that makes you feel so discontent with the life that you have and start working towards changing it. If you need support… find support. If you need counseling… get some counseling (though I’d suggest LIFE counseling, not simply ADDICTION counseling because many of those people are outright BENT). Whatever it is you need to have a better life… go out and work towards getting it… don’t give up… don’t let yourself backslide… and don’t just sit around crying about how unhappy you are and expecting someone or something else to fix your life for you. You know what needs to be done, so, go out and do it.

As always… I hope to be updating this with more information on other resources and such which might prove useful to others out there who may be coping with such problems, so keep checking back, but for now… this is all I’ve got. Good luck to everyone out there.

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If anyone might want to contact me for any reason you can email me at: <bradley.colson@yahoo.com>

You may also write to the address <ME>, c/o V. Morrison, 1821 VanBuren, Great Bend, KS 67530

If you wish you can follow me on Twitter at: @BradleyC4U – I tweet whatever’s of interest at the moment.

Categories: Uncategorized

JUST THE BEGINNING

December 4, 2011 1 comment

Welcome to Bradley Colson’s blog regarding the struggle some have to go through in order to make a change. It’s more difficult for some of us than others and if you’re one of those people who hasn’t lead the right kind of life and don’t have the life you want, then you know just how difficult it can be to turn things around and get your life headed in a positive direction. My story is like something out of a bad “B” movie, it’s truly unbelievable, but I’ve got my whole life turned around and I thought my story is something people ought to know, and that might be something which could help others to see no matter how difficult your circumstances, it’s worth the struggle to make a change and it can be done. The struggle’s certainly not over for me, by no means, but follow along and we’ll see how it all turns out.

I hope to be providing information which may be of use to those out there who are struggling along with me. More stories of my experiences and the obstacles I’ve run into along the way… Links to information and resources that may be of use to people trying to change their lives… but hey… this thing’s brand new at the moment. It’s going to take a bit to get this all organized. FOR NOW… I just hope you enjoy my story and I hope it can help someone, somewhere, out in some way.

Keep checking back as I’ll be updating things as frequently as possible… and Good Luck to you all.

*          *          *          *          *          *         *          *

If anyone might want to contact me for any reason you can email me at: <bradley.colson@yahoo.com>

You may also write to the address <ME>, c/o V. Morrison, 1821 VanBuren, Great Bend, KS 67530

If you wish you can follow me on Twitter at: @BradleyC4U – I tweet whatever’s of interest at the moment.

Categories: Uncategorized
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